Thursday, June 7, 2012

Fifth Day...

It is 11 am and there's unexpected euphoria in my mind
I can not explain nor describe why
I did wondering the time and what he's doing now
A dear friend told me : "you need to think my happiness because he did not think about you even your happiness"
But, how to pursue it when I don't have any energy to move on
I did thinking the two sides of the coin
Really, i can't. I did try, but i just can't
I can not put hate over it.



This is how my heart sing for you

I let it fall, my heart, and as it fell you rose to claim it
It was dark and I was over, until you kissed my lips and you saved me

My hands, they're strong, but my knees were far too weak,
To stand in your arms, without falling to your feet

But there's a side to you, that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true,
And the games you play, you would always win, always win.

But I set fire to the rain, watched it pour as I touched your face,
Well, it burned while I cried, 'cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name!

When I lay with you, I could stay there, close my eyes,
feel you here forever, you and me together, nothing is better

I set fire to the rain, and I threw us into the flames
Where it felt something die, 'cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time!

Sometimes I wake up by the door, that heart you caught must be waiting for you
Even now when we're already over, I can't help myself from looking for you.

~ Adele, Set Fire To The Rain

Facts of the day

1. Have a strange feeling when woke up. Had an early prayer and noticed that I can't feel anything at all.
2. Thinking that the third world war is coming soon but it'll comes from middle east area (conflict in Syria now spreading to Lebanon). There is a need to think for a greater good, otherwise...
3. Questioning the basic reason why Iran developing nuclear program, in political, economic and Sociocultural dimensions.
4. Thinking hard to find a diplomatic and polite way to say 'no' to someone who has been nice to me.
5. Realizing that I am away from the office too long... I didn't know any update/news until breakfast time today. 
6. Spending hours for bonding time with Bubbles
7. Spending hours of window shopping during lunch break
8. Commit to myself to exercise more to reduce the 'stress' and 'feeling' and this idea leads me to buy two jogging pants and running shoes..#don't blame me please.. to my defense, I am in the state between reality and dream-nightmare kind of thing#
9. Plan to go for swimming with princess
10. Happy to have long-call with a dear friend and plan a head for a trip in September
12. Plan to cut my hair and dye it with dark-brownish color
13. Today i need to go to ICC for my farsi class
14. And, happy to learn that 'set fire to the rain' is not hurting me anymore

Fourth Day...

Love of my life - you've hurt me
You've broken my heart and now you leave me
Love of my life can't you see
Bring it back, bring it back
Don't take it away from me, because you don't know -
What it means to me

You will remember -
When this is blown over
And everything's all by the way -
When I get older
I will be there at your side to remind you
How I still love you

~ by Queen

 

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Third Day

Day 3 and the torture is continued....
The torment today resulted with a doctor visit in the morning and she gave me a bunch of tablets of cefadroxil, neurodial and meviton.
I am speechless now..

Chasing Shadows

Is there a difference just quietly waiting than chasing shadows
Both are empty
I tried to pour into the canvas with lines and colors that I missed
Does it matter if your eyes closed?
Mind wanders away, through the boundaries of the sky
Something has burned my soul
Scent of your body swirling in my head
The love that I give with all my heart 
Insecure and burned by bitterness

Is there a difference when we meet and by the time we parted?  
Both equally meaningful
It is now how I live in which part of my soul where I hide
the hurting chest, the grief and the pieces of my heart

Don't want to lay down in my bed
Just to find out myself wandering 
Don't want to have the night
Just to have another nightmare while I'm sleeping 
O dear Lord, please help me to overcome 
Flashing images that creates sadness and hopelessness     

Ping !


Ping ! You've got a new message..

Sender : Hello, are you in the office?
Me : Yes, I am in the office today.
Sender : Good to hear that! We need to meet soon. I need to discuss something with you. How was your trip to Tehran?
Me : Err.....#i don't know what to say ! the teardrops is falling...#